Wedding bells, or tinnutis?
China takes a nap from 12:30-2 every afternoon, and my classes don't wake again until at least 3, so I always start my 2 p.m. class with some shocking news, completely fictitious, to jolt them out of their slumber.
Today, for example, I started by saying, "I have an important announcement to make," which was met with snores, and then said, "I am getting married this weekend." The few awake students shook the arms of their sleeping neighbors, whispers turned into shrieks of glee, and a roar of applause then shook the room, every student standing. Then I told them I was lying and told them the real news: "Your textbooks are now available in Zhuzhou. Buy a copy before next class."
My classes are well used to these tactics, but they never cease to work: the class wakes, on the shadow of a doubt that, for once, I may actually not be full of hooey. Once they're awake and alert, class can then proceed. And everyone, by now, understands not to believe the fake news that leads the broadcast.
Or so I thought. Today, in my class illegally sat a certain law professor, who just sent an email, subject head "to the happy, happy man." Here's the jist:
hi Daniel
Did I hear it clearly that in this afternoon you told us a good news that you have married ?oh,if it 's true ,first ,I should express my feeling of the welcome ,welcome you became one of the members who was in the family wall,just like me. then,second,wish you have wonderful marriage life,just unlike me who used to be.
of couse ,it is definetly a good news,and i think maybe you made the decison after long thinking ,marry is a important thing ,but when i made my decision ,i was so young and know nothing about it .i made my decision on my marriage rappidly,so i decide made another decision about marriage slowly and slowly with long thinking ,such as devorce and all that jazz.
i ever heard you have said you are a man who is difficult to understand.take it easy,if you love her,you 'll try you best to understand and bear her,so the same does she.
so,the last,congratulations! the lucky and happy man.
hellen
Letter to my friend Alyssa, another American in China, upon returning to Zhuzhou . . .
Hi Alyssa,
Great to hear from you. I could use some of your super glue right now to seal shut my eyelashes and return to hibernation state in my bed. It's 5 a.m. but my body is still convinced it's Stateside, which is fair enough given that, up until last Sunday, it was.
No Beijing language school for this slacker American. Instead, I traveled to Shanghai and Beijing with my brother, sister-in-law and sister during January, then returned to good old Falcon Heights Feb. 1, then stood in a penguin suit, as my friend Shane's groomsman, in his wedding on, don't gag, Valentine's Day, in New York City.
The trip back to bustling Zhuzhou began in the Times Square subway station at 9 a.m. on Sunday and didn't end until I arrived back here Tuesday at noon. Then, I had to teach all afternoon Tuesday and all day yesterday, which is why I can't figure out why my body's still so eager to ditch the bed and start the day at 4:45 when it has every right to keep sleeping. Oh, well.
So, how was it being home? For me, in addition to being absurdly great to see friends, family, the Timberwolves and snow, two things stood out: everyone's an adult all the sudden and everyone's Chinese! Re. the first, friends are movin on up, getting hitched, having kids, buying houses, buying A BOOKSTORE (do you know Hans Weyandt?) and living quite conventional lives, which all the sudden looked sort of, gasp, appealing. I had the sense that I am quickly becoming the Child Left Behind and that my excellent adventures are appreciated only pretty much by me. Some people were ravenously curious to hear all about China but plenty of people didn't much give a rip.
The people who gave very much a rip included the numerous Chinese I met! It reminded me of when I was a tyke and our family got our first Honda Civic -- suddenly, it seemed like the roads were clogged with nothing but Honda Civics. Coming home from China, the streets of the Cities, and NYC, seemed lined with nothing but Chinese. The first day home, I met some Chinese U of M grad students on the MTC bus, which began the flood of random "ni haos" I tossed at anonymous Chinese-looking passersby, which seemed about every other person. Who knew?
So, what happened to your move-to-Hong Kong-next-year plans? I'm curious to hear what's changed.
As for me, not only does my body not know where it is, I'm now getting the sense that it doesn't know where it wants to be. The one thing China undeniably has going for it, and it's kind of a biggie, is that I am happy here, every day. I haven't felt more alive, intellectually and socially, at any other point in my life. I laugh more (and swear more, which inevitably leads to further laughter!) and live more relaxed, and write better, than ever. Still, though, I'm not sure I'll ever fully feel like a part of the culture or feel comfortable with the bleepin language, and I feel like I'm drifting a bit from the lives of the people important to me back in the States, and I desperately miss cross-country and Twizzlers. Damn, going home made life difficult all the sudden. Anyway, I'm looking for journalism gigs, that pay American samoleans, in Beijing or Hong Kong, starting next year. Who knows what I'll find. I had dinner with Kevin Clancy while home, and it looks like he'll be in Hong Kong next year, so it would be great to live near him. And you, too, if you change your mind.
Otherwise, re. your question about jobs, I have half a notion of returning to the States to work for Kerry's campaign this fall. It seems he might actually have half a chance, and it would be a hoot to work for a campaign. As for what job I'd do, I have no idea, although perhaps I could be his body double, as people in the States couldn't stop telling me how I look exactly like him. I'm not exactly flattered, but I wouldn't mind being his body double.
Okay, Alyssa, welcome you here anytime. I have loads of free time this semester -- I teach only Tuesday and Wednesday -- and so I may wander back to Zhaoqing at some point, too. By the way, happy new year. I hope you got stacks of hong bao!
Dan
